


when the equilibrium tilts to one side

by doubleshot



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, I think there is fluff, Kinda, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Break Up, please forgive my slow ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28768575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubleshot/pseuds/doubleshot
Summary: “What do you even want to hear from me? That I hurt him? That it’s all on me to just dump him like that? That I don’t love him enough to keep the relationship even though I did love him and I always will?” Taehyun's voice got higher, but he can sense that the younger is tired.“It’s my relationship with Soobinie-hyung and we chose to keep it between us, so why are you so intent in knowing? Do you want to hate me that much?”Beomgyu starts to think that fate is playing a practical joke on him when he confronts Taehyun for the sole reason of him being Soobin's ex and is known to be a difficult person but then becomes best friends for 2 years until he developed feelings for him. Beomgyu definitely isn't prepared for the hurricane of emotion with Taehyun, and he definitely isn't prepared to learn different sides of Taehyun that could either leave him breathless... or heartbroken
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	when the equilibrium tilts to one side

**Author's Note:**

> I have finally gotten somewhere with the first chapter, even though at first I intended to post this all at once. I find that breaking this fic into chapters is a more reasonable way for me to continue since I can sense it's going to be quite the ride. As always, please forgive any grammar mistakes and holes I made, and enjoy the first chapter of this story ❤

“We broke up”

Beomgyu, who is currently scrolling through his new phone trying to search for his class schedule, looks up with a flash of alarm in his eyes.

“Excuse me, you what?” was the only response he could come up with.

Soobin sighs, leaning back on the stone pillar in the small garden of their school and stretches his long legs.

“Me and Tyun, we ended things. I mean, he’s the one who proposes the idea, but then he decided to actually do it.” Soobin said absent-mindedly while plucking flowers from the grass he’s lying down on. Beomgyu immediately sits up straight and looks at Soobin with obvious puzzlement in his eyes.

“ _Decided_ to do it? What does that even mean?” his tone turned into one that is irritation, clearly at loss as to what those words mean.

“We had a talk, of course, and previously he mentioned about not feeling it anymore, but I thought it was just a thought of the moment so I didn’t think about it too much. But then…” his voice trailed off, clearly troubled.

Beomgyu did not waver. “And so, how are you holding up right now?”

“I’m doing moderately well considering that I’ve been pining over them for 3 years since middle school and then given the chance to be together with him and having the best year of my entire miserable life. You’d be surprised.” The sarcastic tone in his best friend’s voice is painfully discernible and Beomgyu knows that Soobin is hurting to some degree because it’s true. Soobin has been pining over Taehyun since the second week of middle school, and since Taehyun was a timid and guarded kid, he tends to brush off any social interaction unless it concerns his academics. Beomgyu liked to think that Soobin has this comforting, gentle aura that could break down anyone’s defenses, even stone-faced Taehyun, and befriends him until he finally confesses.

Now, he never pays much attention to Taehyun. Beomgyu only knows him as Soobin’s ‘the one human with the coldest aura and rarely smiles unless he's around Soobin’s boyfriend, and since he trusted Soobin enough, he let them be without giving much thought to how their relationship is going. Well, the exception being Soobin’s never-ending gush and heart-eyes every time they went out together to do literally anything, from going on dates, shopping together, even something as simple as studying together when Soobin needs help with physics and math while Taehyun is accepting Soobin’s tutelage for biology and chemistry. As far as he observed, they had a stable relationship, which is why the news of their break-up is a bit of a surprise for his part.

“Binnie, if you’re not fine, just say it. It won’t hurt anyone.”

Soobin raised his eyebrow. “Oh, you mean you don’t get it? I was trying out what you always do.”

Beomgyu’s eyebrows creased. “Can you enlighten me as to what is it you’re referring to as ‘something that I always do’? I am at a loss here.” He may or may not use that usual tone of his when he hates being serious.

Soobin rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around Beomgyu’s shoulder, pulling the latter rather harshly that he yelped in surprise.

“You hear that tone of yours? That, my dearest idiot, is what you call sarcasm. And since I rarely express my heart with it, I wanted to try it out and I have to say, it’s quite entertaining.” His voice turns more light-hearted and Beomgyu inwardly sighs in relief. He’s honestly not the best person to give comfort to, so he did the one thing he excels at, which is turning any situation into a light-hearted joke.

“Yeah, there’s a reason why it’s my default defense mechanism. It’s proven to be very effective to ward off unwanted questions and attention.”

“Ah, does that mean if I did it more often, you’ll stop asking more questions?” Soobin said with bitter humor, making Beomgyu stare at him in wonder.

“Binnie… you know I’m only nagging you because I love you and I’m worried about you.”

Soobin stayed silent for a moment, and then he abruptly stood while still having his hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder, accidentally dropping him to the dirt. A string of curses left Beomgyu’s pretty lips, and on the sideline, Soobin just laughed. What a very best friend thing to do, Beomgyu thought.

“I promise you, I’ll be fine. I can understand why he wants to break up with me.” Soobin easily said that like this isn’t bothering him the slightest.

“Don’t give me that look, Gyu. I may need time to move on and forget about us, and I might end up hurting myself one way or the other. But we humans are a creature of change, aren’t we? Even if it hurts me, at least I’ll learn something from it.” Oh, how much Beomgyu adores his best friend and how he still can be hopeful while being realistic. He wished he shares the same sentiment.

“Such wise words, I envy you for it. But if you do need to talk about it, then I’m just a click away since I know you saved me as your emergency contact.” He giggles at that as Soobin ruffled his hair quite roughly until his hair became a tangled mess.

Much like how the rest of his 2 years in high school is going to be.

* * *

Humans are, naturally, always in a state of balance. Take your own body, for an easy example. To function properly, your body has to be in a state of homeostasis, which is a steady-state of the internal, physical, and chemical state of your body and everything inside of you without any imbalance or dysfunction. You know how your body cranks up its temperature when you’re catching a cold or you got sick? That is the way they regulate that balance, killing off invaders by increasing your body temperature to burn them.

So what happened when you tilt this state of homeostasis, of balance, of equilibrium, to one side? The smallest of tilt alone will set up a chain reaction, slowly, one by one, the rest of the weight will tilt to one side, crashing down all at once when the gravity starts pulling it harder to one side. When it all goes crashing down, you’re left in this state of mess and arrays of mixed-up feelings, weighing you down the way the sky is pressing down on Atlas’ shoulder.

Beomgyu didn’t know it now, but he has been ghosting his finger over the balance ever since the news of his best friend’s breakup. And then his finger touched it, so feathery light, when he, his future self would say, makes the first mistake of his high school life.

And that first mistake would be his ever-growing suspicion of his best friend’s ex.

* * *

How does it start?

Beomgyu likes to think that it’s when he saw Taehyun hanging out with someone else, smiling with a carefree attitude. Now, he never saw the younger with anyone else, much less smile like that. And no, it doesn’t make his heart skip a beat, and instead, it makes him angry and suspicious that Taehyun would just leave his best friend for someone else that easily. As if Soobin is a game to him, just something he can play with and leave when he’s bored and found another one that catches his interest. Like a pirate scavenging for treasures, sailing the seas for misadventures and bounty, doing as they please.

The unconscious part of his mind knows that Taehyun wouldn’t have done something as harsh, but then he’s driven by pure anger and misunderstanding of the situation, desperate for an explanation, anything that would ease his mind from this mess.

His hands, unconsciously, are clenched into fists, his nails biting down so hard it left patterns of crescent moons on his palm. No, he will not let Taehyun hurt his best friend like this. 

And so, because his feet are treacherous creatures with their own mind, Beomgyu starts moving closer towards Taehyun, his mind screaming at him, “DON’T GO LOOK FOR TROUBLE, JUST LET THEM BE” but oh, his feet and body never oblige and keeps on moving. He wants to shout out of frustration but then his body just works like that. If only his body would actually oblige to his mind, none of the things he has to go through would happen.

Taehyun must have had excellent senses, because his head immediately snaps sideways, his gaze landing directly at Beomgyu’s unconscious movements. His eyebrows curled inward ever so slightly, his smile dropping, replaced by pursed lips.

Beomgyu, for once in his life, is speechless and tongue-tied.

When it’s obvious that Beomgyu was not going to say anything, or at least, he just can’t get the damned words out of his mouth, Taehyun’s calm voice speaks out. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Beomgyu’s mind finally snaps out of their reverie and he looks at Taehyun with confusion on his face. “Huh? Oh, I…”

And, of course, he forgets everything he was about to say. And it’s also not helping that Taehyun is looking at him with such expectant, intelligent eyes, as if his eyes alone could extract all the information he needs from him.

Hence why Beomgyu steeled himself, determined to get what he wants. “Yes, I do need to talk to you about something. But maybe we can speak alone? I don’t really want other people to hear.” Beomgyu glanced at the other male beside Taehyun as he spoke, hoping that he didn’t offend the boy while also hoping he gets the message to scurry along.

“Well, whatever you wanted to say, I think you can just say right here. I have no problem with Hueningkai hearing everything.” Taehyun answered timidly while still boring his eyes on Beomgyu. Damn, he never really knows how intimidating Taehyun can get until he is under his watchful gaze.

“Beomgyu-ssi, I’m sorry if I’m making you feel uncomfortable. It’s okay Hyunie, I can leave for a bit.” Hueningkai, the boy beside Taehyun, has a very bright, chipper voice that Beomgyu almost felt sorry for kicking him out like this. Well, almost.

Taehyun sighed. “Fine. Just… go and maybe buy us some food. If you want to you can wait for me in class.”

Hueningkai brightens. “You know I’m going to buy food. Hello, I’m starving as hell; you’ve been keeping me here for the whole recess just because you thought that this would be the best time to teach me this physics bullshit. I’m buying your food too, consider that my payment.”

“You know I do all this for free, Kai. You don’t have to pay me anything.”

“But I want to! Tyun, you really need to loosen up and let people be nice to you. If I, your number one favorite person ever, can’t even do all these nice things without you objecting at least twice, how will you react to other people?” Hueningkai puffs up a breath with his pouty lips, looking adorably exasperated at Taehyun.

Weirdly, instead of getting mildly annoyed, Taehyun looks amused and endeared.

“Okay. Just buy me a mango smoothie, I’m not in a mood to eat anything.” Hueningkai nods, said it’s nice to see you again Beomgyu-ssi, then left with tiny skips on his steps.

“I’m assuming you want to talk about Soobinie-hyung.”

Beomgyu looks at him with surprise, but Taehyun just waves him off. “You’re obviously the best friend he’s been talking about, and I’ve seen you with him all the times when I’m not with him.”

“So I’m also assuming you know what I want to ask you.”

Taehyun ran his hands through his dark red locks, looking a tiny bit distraught.

“I guess it is a bit unfair for me to do that to him. I swear, I didn’t really mean to break his heart like that. I still love him, you know. I think I always will.” He stops, then chuckles.

“I mean, who wouldn’t? Soobinie-hyung is the best person you can ever ask for. I have never felt more taken care of and loved by anyone else as much as he did. Just his smile alone can lifts up my mood whenever I’m at my lowest point. He sometimes didn’t even speak a word, he would hug me and give me a forehead kiss, then in my heart, I knew everything would be okay as long as he’s with me.”

Beomgyu just looks at Taehyun with a mixed-up feeling in his chest. His ears are always falling off from hearing Soobin talks and talks about how amazing Taehyun is, and because he’s particularly chatty when it comes to everything he’s passionate about, Beomgyu deals with this almost every day. But hearing the adoration, the softness in the younger’s tone when talking about Soobin, is perplexing. He should feel glad knowing that Taehyun is just in love with Soobin as much as Soobin is with him. 

“Then why? Why would you break up with him like that? You have no idea how much he’s hurting because he’s hiding it from me. And he NEVER hides anything from me.” Beomgyu crosses his arms on his chest, looking at Taehyun expectantly.

“Because I didn’t deserve him and his affections.”

And with that, he grabs his bag, stands up, and walks towards a smiling Hueningkai holding two bottles of orange-colored drinks, leaving a confused, irritated Beomgyu in his wake.

* * *

His second mistake is being curious about Taehyun.

And why is that? He still didn’t have the answer that he wants and he’s not satisfied. Other people would just let it be. After all, it’s his best friend going through it all, not him. But Beomgyu is well-known for being that person who dipped their toes into foreign waters, dropping himself here and there on other people’s business, solely because his curious soul needs to know everything, and also because he has no brakes on his stupid impulses. Like, none at all.

So he started to observe Taehyun from afar.

Beomgyu realized that it sounds creepy and what he’s doing is most likely not the most morally white thing to do. Even though Taehyun is a year younger than him, his annoyingly brilliant brain allows him to skip one grade in middle school, and voila! Now he’s the same grade as Beomgyu. And it also didn’t help that he’s literally in the same class as him.

It’s fascinating to see Hueningkai slowly peels down Taehyun’s barrier. No, scratch that, he could be glaring and drilling holes on your head from his stare alone but the moment Hueningkai appears, everyone can noticeably see him softening, turning his full attention to him and acts as if the entire world blurs out, his only focus the bright energy radiating from Hueningkai. And that got Beomgyu thinking, was he like this when he was still with Soobin? Is he moving on from Soobin because he fell from someone else? Not that Beomgyu blamed him, anyone can fall in or out of love whenever they please, but he can never let go of the fact that Soobin is just… so easy to move on from. His mind is still reeling back to when Taehyun said that he didn’t deserve Soobin, and Beomgyu wished he could believe him. But no, there is probably another reason for it, and that is exactly his purpose of observing Taehyun.

“Oh no, I am not hanging out with your friends. I love you and all, but I would rather jump into the Pacific Ocean all by myself than facing more people at a party.” Taehyun, for the first time, is glaring at Hueningkai, earning a dejected, sad look from the latter.

“I swear, Hyunie, they’re really fun and they don’t drink, unlike some people here.” He snickers softly while pointing at another group of guys in the front, talking with girls and laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes.

“Please, they genuinely want to get to know you better, you know. You can be fun when you wanted to.” Taehyun just raised his eyebrows, obviously waiting for the truth to be let out.

Hueningkai sighed. “Fine, they also wanted you to teach them. I mean, you’re literally the second smartest kid in this grade, and it would do you some good to use all that knowledge into generous purposes.”

“Ugh, fine! Fine, I’ll go. But just this once, because I have nothing better to do today. Just…. just wait for me outside your house, okay? I’m not comfortable with randomly knocking at someone’s door.” Taehyun slumped a little, but he didn’t actually look that disappointed. Judging from that reaction alone, he can tell that Taehyun has clear affections for the younger.

“Of course I will.” Hueningkai smiled with obvious relief. “I’ll treat you ice cream later.”

Taehyun shoots him a glare.

“I’m just kidding! I know damn well that you’re lactose intolerant. I’ll buy you those street-style fried chicken. Not the best for your brain and stomach but no harm in eating them once in a while.” And with that, Taehyun gives Hueningkai a small, fond smile, and then he turns his attention back to his book on the table.

It was almost the end of the school period when he heard Hueningkai calling his name.

“Beomgyu-ssi? Yeah hi, it’s me.” Hueningkai flashes him his signature disarming smile, bright enough to lighten up the whole country.

“Hi, Hueningkai, what’s up?”

He scratches his neck imperceptibly, looking a little embarrassed. “Would you, just maybe, would you come with us? To my house, I mean.”

Beomgyu looks at Hueningkai blankly, his slow mind trying to comprehend what he just said.

Hueningkai clears his throat. “I mean, we’re going to my house to study together and hang out, and also because I prepare way too much food for only 8 people to eat. And also because you’re really good at chemistry, and I mean, you’re crazy good. Seriously, your score is always above 90, how did you do that? Anyway, maybe you would like to teach us? Hyunie is good but physics and math are more of his things. Oh and you can also bring Soobinie-hyung too, he can teach us biology.”

Beomgyu, apparently, is still looking at Hueningkai blankly, because the latter snaps his finger in front of his face.

“Beomgyu-ssi, did you hear anything I just said?”

Oh. Oh, right.

“Yeah, yeah I did. But we’re not exactly close, so why?” he knows he’s being too harsh, but he can’t help it, not when he knows by agreeing, Soobin and Taehyun would be in the same room, and he felt the sudden surge of protectiveness towards his best friend.

“I just wanted to be friends with you, okay! You seem really nice, even though you didn’t exactly show it the day you approach Hyunie, and because I know Soobinie-hyung and he’s also one of the best people I have ever known. You guys are smart, too, so why not.” He shrugs as if trying to appear nonchalant, but the tips of his ears are red, indicating otherwise.

Beomgyu ponders for a moment, an obvious crease on his forehead until he heard his phone ring.

“Wait a minute, I’ll be right back,” Beomgyu answers the call, and the first thing he heard was of Soobin's shouting.

“I’M WAITING AT THE PARKING LOT FOR 20 MINUTES ALREADY, WHERE ARE YOU?” Beomgyu is glad he didn’t put his phone right next to his ears.

“God damn, stop hurting my ears, you big oaf. I was just talking to Hueningkai.”

There was a pause. “Oh, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, oh my god! He was just inviting me to study with him at his place. Oh, and you’re also invited, dumbass.”

“He… he what?”

“Listen, Taehyun will be there too, so if you don’t want to, it’s okay, I can tell him-“

“No. No, it’s okay.” Soobin cuts him off with a sigh. He went silent for a good minute, Yeah, I’ll come with. Just tell him to let us know his address, and then we can go there after we pick up my sister.”

“I guess the best way to get over someone is to pretend nothing wrong has ever happened, isn’t it?”

“For once, your clogged-up brain is catching up with me.” Beomgyu can hear the smile in Soobin’s voice. “You want to come with me or not? Yeonwoo missed you.”

Beomgyu snorts in a rather unflattering way. “Yeah, she missed wreaking havoc with me, I supposed.”

“On second thought, it’s a blessing you guys didn’t meet as often as you used to. I will never forget how you put hair dye on my shampoo and my hair stayed neon green for a whole week.”

“We did worse pranks, you’re being too much.”

“Yeah, and I’m about to whoop your ass if you didn’t get here right now so FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE MOVE YOUR LEGS TO WHERE I AM NOW!” Uncharacteristic to his usual self, Soobin screams the last part, temporarily ruining Beomgyu’s right ear.

“I heard you loud and clear, stop shouting!” he speaks directly at the speaker, “I’m on my way.”

He quickly hangs up and then looks at the boy standing in front of him, eyes open wide.

“Soobin said he’s also going to come with, but we have to pick up his sister first. Is that okay?”

Hueningkai nodded eagerly. “Of course! I’m already glad he actually agreed to it. I’ll send you the location of Tyun’s house in a minute.” The boy smiled faintly, then he runs off to the other side of the school to find Taehyun, Beomgyu assumed.

While jogging slightly to avoid adding to Soobin’s annoyance, the only thing he can think of was _this is not going to end well, but let’s hope for the best._

* * *

Beomgyu will not elaborate on the happenings of that evening, but what he can say is that he should have given his hunches more credit than he did because things _really_ did not end well.

Yeonwoo, the little brat that she is, her delighted, mischievous eyes are set upon Beomgyu with such intensity that he fears for his own fate. Seeing all this, Soobin rolled his eyes and nudged Beomgyu while whispering three words.

“She wants food.”

Ah. Of course, the force that would drive her would be her empty stomach.

“No, it’s not really about me being hungry. It’s more on me wanting to annoy you by making you waste your money on buying me food.” She flashed him one of her signature grin, one he knows too well from spending his entire childhood with the she-devil.

And of course, Beomgyu has no other choice but to relent, lest he wants Yeonwoo to steal his money or hack his bank account for her to buy some food on her own.

To his dismay, she also picked food that Beomgyu would otherwise save up, or if he wanted to go on a splurge, which earned a smack from Soobin.

“Enough of your childishness. Buy something reasonable and make it quick. We have somewhere to go to in approximately 10 minutes.” Soobin’s voice is quiet yet steady, making Yeonwoo pouts and runs off to buy corn dog and some fries. He turns to Beomgyu, eyes conflicted.

“What are you thinking? Are you having second thoughts?”

“Hmm?” Soobin answered distractedly, his eyes wandering from one stall to the next, “No, of course not. Why do you keep asking me this?”

“Sorry for asking too many times. You just seemed… I don’t know, worried.”

Soobin laughed with a hint of irony in the sound, clearly unamused, forehead crinkling from how often he creased his eyebrows.

“I was just distressed because of my blasted sister. I can understand how she didn’t have that many friends now.” He sounds a tiny bit dismal about that fact, but he lets it go when he saw Yeonwoo approaching them, lips quirked to one side.

“Cheer up, big brother. You’ll be eighty quicker if you keep frowning like that.”

* * *

The sound of Yeonwoo munching down her food and humming some off-tune beat drowns out the loud beating of Beomgyu’s heart.

Beomgyu didn’t even know why he’s nervous, but he most certainly is from the way he kept wiping his palm at his pants from being too sweaty and how Soobin gave weird, confused looks over his shoulder seeing the crease marring the younger’s brows and the small pout Beomgyu always does unconsciously whenever his mind is preoccupied with something he should’ve not been thinking too hard on.

Soobin slows down his pace a notch and circles his arm on Beomgyu’s shoulder, shaking it slightly.

“I hope that frown of yours isn’t because of the idea of me and Tyun being in the same room. I would much rather you worry about being robbed by my sister or even planning something stupid together.” Soobin’s voice sounds light and playful, but Beomgyu, after being friends for 10 years with him, can see right through it.

“And how would you know what I’m thinking about? It’s not like you have an x-ray to get a glimpse of what my neurons are transmitting.”

Soobin didn’t look amused anymore, the small quirk on his lips disappeared. “One, we’ve been soulmates for almost 10 years now, I can tell what goes inside that pretty little head of yours by the look in your eyes and the scrunch of your nose. Two, you overthink everything way too much for your own good. This is my problem and I have no problem at all, so please stop fretting too much.” 

The already deep frown marring Beomgyu’s eyebrows miraculously got even deeper, the lines etched deep on his forehead.

“I’m telling you, even I don’t know why I’m nervous.”

“Got more to think about that you can’t handle, huh?”

Beomgyu released a long breath, trying to release the tension on his shoulder. “You know me better than anyone at this point. I can’t control them, they keep circling my head like a thunderstorm.”

“I know that.” Soobin shifts his eyes downward, fingers fiddling with the sleeve of his blazer, “I just wish I could do something about it, you know. It hurts me to see you getting worse every day.”

“Don’t feel sorry for that, I’ve learned to live with it my whole life, okay? I just need you to treat me normally, because I need that sense of normalcy and you’re the only one who understands that.”

The wind is blowing even harder, making the pair of best friends shiver, prompting their legs to move faster to get rid of the chill seeping into their bones. As they got closer to the address Hueningkai sent to Beomgyu, the one thing he noticed was that the houses they walkthrough could be categorized as, for the lack of eloquent words, modern. Rows upon rows of houses that look like it came out of a magazine. The structures are tall and thin, with a geometric design instead of the old quaint style he’s so accustomed to seeing. That’s when it hits Beomgyu that Hueningkai lives around this neighborhood since the dot representing their position is getting closer to the destination and that alone takes him to the conclusion that their friend is indeed wealthy. At least, more than what everyone thought of him to be.

Even then, they both missed the mark.

Because right now they’re standing in front of a mansion.

They heard the light footsteps of someone skipping down the stairs, the occupant of the said mansion being completely oblivious to the two figures currently gaping while their eyes wander around, taking in the sight on their field of vision. The mansion’s style and structure are similar to the rest of the neighborhood, which, in Beomgyu’s opinion, makes the house appear way more classy and expensive. In other words, completely his style.

“Beomgyu-ssi, you’re here!” a very cheerful Hueningkai walks right to the front of Beomgyu, making him divert his eyes to the younger.

“Yes, I’m obviously here.” He answered with a nonchalant sound, not thinking too much about it until he felt a jab on his upper arm, finally realizing that he may have sound rude.

“I mean, yes thank you for giving us the location, and also for inviting us,” Beomgyu visibly flinched at how pathetic and awkward he sounds right now because, to be honest, he didn’t even know what to say. He was partly hoping that Soobin would be the one doing all the greeting since he’s naturally less hostile and out of place than Beomgyu is.

And of course, Soobin can see the slight alarm in his best friend’s expression so he immediately jumps in with the hello’s and how are you doing and the thank yous. From their expression alone, he can tell that they’re both already acquainted before and that Soobin is obviously fond of Hueningkai in whatever way he can. His eyes held a similar shine as to when he would fervently tell Beomgyu all about his adventures with Taehyun, except that it’s softer, more reserved. It’s obviously something private between them, and for a terrible, split-second, he fears that Soobin might just use Hueningkai as a getaway car, to put it harshly, but then he remembers that he wouldn’t even hurt a fly, let alone play with someone’s feeling.

So for now, Beomgyu will assume the best for him.

* * *

“You understood my point, now? It’s not as difficult to remember, just know that enzymes are usually named after their purpose. For example, the lipase enzyme breaks down lipids or fat into fatty acids and glycerol. As you can see, the name is somewhat similar, and this also applies to most enzymes.”

Soobin expertly explained the chapter about the digestive system to a still confused Hueningkai and another two of Beomgyu’s classmates, Jeongin and Heeseung, who are equally puzzled with the basic physiology of it. Everyone has told him that whenever Soobin teaches someone, he radiates a sort of energy as if the knowledge he has is illuminating the people around him, which is not far from the truth. He spoke with a steady, gentle tone that gets you hypnotized, making every explanation he said easily discernible even for the thick-headed. He sometimes stops to push the glasses he has to wear on the times he’s studying with the back of his pencil, eye narrowing from slight annoyance.

“He really explains well, you know. That’s why we studied together often.” A familiar voice appeared from Beomgyu’s side, the wide couch he’s sitting on dipped slightly under an added weight.

Kang Taehyun is looking at him expectantly now, one eyebrow raised.

“I know that,” he replied with little interest. “I mean, yeah, I know that you both studied together often. He told me all about them.”

When he turns his head slightly, Taehyun is looking down at his lap, having the decency to look a tiny bit embarrassed.

“Did you know that? He’s always so excited every time you ask him out to do anything.”

“Please don’t use that patronizing tone on me,” Taehyun sighs, knowing exactly the implication behind Beomgyu’s voice. “I’m just as happy as he is because if I’m not, I wouldn’t bother doing it in the first place.”

“You still haven’t answered my question, you know.”

“Yes and no. I told you my answer, but not the answer you wanted to hear from me.”

That stuns Beomgyu into silence for a while. He makes a perfect point there, because all this time, without him realizing it, he wanted to hear Taehyun say it. He wanted to hear that Taehyun decided to end it for something less complicated than what it may seem like. He wanted to hear that his best friend is treated poorly and he had a reason to hate on Taehyun, which is a pointless, stupid train of thoughts, trying to blame it on the younger.

“Did I get that right or are you just tired from all the studying today?” Taehyun’s unexpected soft voice breaks Beomgyu out of his reverie, making him snap his head up.

“I’ll admit, even though it hurts my pride to say it, that yeah, you are.”

“What do you even want to hear from me? That I hurt him? That it’s all on me to just dump him like that? That I don’t love him enough to keep the relationship even though I did love him and I always will?” Taehyun's voice got higher, but he can sense that the younger is tired.

“It’s my relationship with Soobinie-hyung and we chose to keep it between us, so why are you so intent in knowing? Do you want to hate me that much?”

His voice sounds like he’s pleading, a desperate man trying to breathe in a gulp of air after being drowned by hatred and self-loathing. His eyes are wide now, the widest Beomgyu has ever seen them, and much to his horror, they’re glazed with unshed tears, the light from the window reflected on them.

Beomgyu thinks very hard about how to answer his question because he truly didn’t know the answer to it. Even if he did, he wouldn’t know if he could say a word, not with those eyes looking at him like that. So unguarded, so much pain in them, he fears saying anything would be the sword cutting through a wall, shattering it to pieces.

“I-“

A loud call from the kitchen snaps every one of them from their current activities, the ever-growing smell of delicious foods rousing them.

Taehyun shoots him a look, one he can’t decipher, either because he’s tired, he’s hungry, or his brain just can’t function on an empty stomach.

“Well, I guess we can’t deny the call of food, now can we?” Taehyun really made sure Beomgyu could hear the sarcasm in his voice, then he stood up and strides away.

* * *

Hueningkai’s mother has proven to be a rather excellent cook, despite what anyone thinks of the ability rich people possessed.

And Hueningkai wasn’t lying either when he implied that his mother would practically throw a feast because the food laid on the table in front of him has more worth than his bedroom.

_Okay, that was an exaggeration on your part, stop it!_

Beomgyu wasn’t that much of an eater, he gets full quite easily since his everyday activities are consist of mostly sitting down and letting his brain work and some occasional walking around to stretch his legs and get rid of the restlessness he always felt when he’s preoccupied or overwhelmed. As Soobin had said, he’s provided with his own portion of ramen which his best friend had taken the liberty to save some before the hungry wolves can take them all for themselves, some meat with a sauce like nothing he ever tasted before (must be a Hueningkai’s mother special), and kimchi stew so decadent and rich in flavor, his palette would be rejecting any other food for a short period. Since he is, as Taehyun said, starving, he eats all the food quickly but quietly, savoring what’s most likely the fanciest food he has ever eaten in his life.

“You eat very quickly, Beomgyu! Do you like it?” a rather solemn but high-pitched voice called out to him, making him looked up. He looks at Soobin, who is sitting on his right, happily munching his own meal.

“Ah, yes ma’am, the food is quite extraordinary.” He replied politely while bowing his head slightly.

“Quit being so timid and reserved, child. I need an opinion on how they taste like!” she waves her hand, gesturing to the whole table, the kind, motherly smile never leaving her face.

Beomgyu wipes his hand on the napkin, slightly nervous even if he didn’t have any reason to. “Uhh, the food is very delicious,” Hueningkai’s mother is still looking at him expectantly, “the kimchi stew is very decadent, and I can taste every spices and ingredient you put in here. I think the ramen is your usual ramen that anyone can find in stores, but you put your own twist into it, and it tastes so different yet in the best way possible.”

Now he’s just embarrassed because he’s starting to ramble again, going on and on about his opinion on the food. After he’s finished, he can see that his classmates are smiling hard, trying to contain their laughter from spilling out, afraid of disrespecting Hueningkai’s mother. Taehyun, on the other hand, looks mildly amused; a small smile touched the corner of his lips, eyes cast downwards.

“That’s lovely to hear, dear. I do love to play around with the spices!” and then she turns her attention towards his other classmates, asking about school, homework, the things they’re learning at school (his mom, as it turns out, is a business major, which isn’t that big of a surprise on his part), and as every good mother does, she also asks plenty of questions about his son.

“I know that Taehyun here,” she said in a rather suggestive voice, “is the closest with Kai, yes? Kai rarely brings any of his friends home, and I believe this is the first time he did after years of just talking about the friends he made at school. It’s really nice to see that someone cared for my son.” She’s positively beaming, pulling Hueningkai close, surprising him.

Taehyun looked as if he might burst from the attention on him, both hands wrapping around his body to ward off the awkwardness that he most certainly is feeling right now.

“We all do, ma’am. Hueningkai is one of my closest best friends, and he truly deserves the best.”

Hueningkai looks at him with mild surprise, a faint blush dusted his cheeks.

“Ah, that’s very sweet of you, Taehyun. You and Soobin are the ones he talked about the most, and sometimes he even whines about feeling ‘so single and alone’ whenever the three of you hung out together,” both Soobin and Taehyun visibly flinch upon hearing those words, “so I’m assuming you both are dating, right? A very cute couple indeed.”

The air in the room suddenly thickens, choking their throats, leaving them suffocating with the weight of the word ‘dating’. What are they supposed to tell Hueningkai’s mother? That they broke up and they’re no longer madly in love? The rest of their classmates do not know of it, so staying silent or confirming the assumption would do them no good. Especially for Taehyun, for it seems like he is loath to let anyone know that he dated.

“I guess you can say that I and Taehyun are close, ma’am. Just like me and Beomgyu, but in a different way, of course.” His best friend’s voice is level and calm, but he can see the slight clench on his jaw. Soobin is known to be calm and serene, but he’s quick to anger and irritation when he’s reminded of something he’s so desperately trying to forget, or at least in the process of.

“Please, I can see it in your eyes. You guys are clearly in love! It’s okay, Kai is also gay, you know.”

“Mom!” now it’s Hueningkai’s turn to be embarrassed, his already red face somehow gets even more deep red, creeping its way to his ears and neck. He doesn’t look like he’s angry at his mother for revealing something he never told anyone before, but he just looked uncomfortable, as if he fears the judgment from the 10 pairs of eyes who are now locked on him.

“They didn’t know yet?” everyone collectively shook their heads. “Oh, Kai, I’m so sorry I thought they already knew about it.”

Hueningkai just waves her off casually. “It’s fine, mom. I have little care if they know, anyway.”

“That’s great, Kai! See, when I first saw him talk about both of you,” she gestures at Soobin and Taehyun, “his eyes shine like they never did before, and he got so excited, he rambles off for 10 minutes straight, not even acknowledging my presence until he stopped. I almost thought that he’s in love with one of you until he mentions the possibility of you being together. And now I see that he is indeed right.” She’s absolutely beaming right now, her eyes turn into crescent moons, and for a second she looked frighteningly like Hueningkai when he smiled, Beomgyu has to blink twice.

Taehyun has this look on his eyes that screams ‘I’ve had enough’. “I’m sorry ma’am, but I and Soobinie-hyung are not in a relationship. We have always been close and I care about him very much, but we’re not in love the way you think we are. But I supposed it’s understandable if you thought us dating, Hueningkai sometimes exaggerates stories, but in the best way possible, I assure you.”

Soobin blinked, clearly wasn’t expecting that answer, but then his expression harden into stony indifference, and he slowly puts down his chopsticks along with his piece of meat.

“Thank you for the meal, and also to you Hueningkai, for inviting me here to study together. It has been very eventful, but I’m afraid I have to return before my parents grow worried. It’s getting quite late.” Soobin puts on a slightly rueful smile, not giving away any hurt in his eyes.

“Ah, of course, Soobin! Best of luck to you.” Oblivious to the situation, Hueningkai’s mother stood up to pat his shoulder, and then Soobin is out of sight.

“I better get back with him too, if that’s not crude. We always go together and I’m afraid his parents would be worried if I’m not with him.” Beomgyu expresses his regret in his voice, desperately trying to get to Soobin.

“That’s really sweet of you! Yes, of course, you can.”

Beomgyu knows his manners no matter what his parents said about him, so he bowed to her and the rest of his friends, then he rushes towards the door, hoping he wouldn’t miss Soobin.

Said boy is currently putting back his things into his backpack, muttering unintelligent phrases that even Beomgyu rarely heard him say.

“Binnie…”

“No just, just don’t talk and get your things as quickly as you can. I’m not staying here anymore.” He’s slightly choking on the last word, most likely holding back a sob, and Beomgyu didn’t have the heart to say anything to him, so he did as Soobin told him.

They shouldered their bags and walks out the front door, not even bothering the weird, confused looks from the house staff. It still amazes Beomgyu that Hueningkai is _that_ wealthy to have people doing different things in the mansion, knowing it costs a fortune, but this isn’t the right time to be having these thoughts right now. Not when his best friend is practically seething.

As soon as they reached the porch, they heard Hueningkai called Soobin’s name, begging him to hear him out. And honestly, he thought Soobin would stop. He thought Soobin would have it in his mind to be rational and give any explanation towards the younger. But Soobin didn’t talk, nor did he stop. He didn’t even turn around to look at Hueningkai, who is now standing on the door with a remorseful look on his face, regretting what had happened.

**Author's Note:**

> as crappy as that was, if you're interested in continuing, please be patient with me :)
> 
> https://twitter.com/prodbeomie_


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